Quotes That Changed How I Show Up for Me

Let me be real, I used to show up for myself like a tired intern who’s only there for college credit. I’d be supportive one week, neglectful the next, and downright disrespectful when life got hard. But somewhere between another nervous breakdown and my third rewatch of Waiting to Exhale, I started collecting little quotes. Ones that read me like an overdue bill.

These quotes didn’t just inspire me. They changed how I show up for me. And now, I gift them to you (with commentary, because duh, I'm gonna talk about it).

1. “You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” — Unknown

Whew. This one slapped me like a church mother in the front pew. I used to call it “being a good friend” when really, I was emotionally exhausted and pretending I was fine. Now? I ask myself: Do I have the bandwidth to help right now? Or am I trying to prove I’m worthy by overgiving again? Spoiler alert: burned-out people make terrible space heaters.

2. “Rest is not a reward. It’s a right.” — Tricia Hersey

You ever lay down and feel guilty for not doing enough—even though you’ve done 42 tasks, cooked dinner, avoided texting your ex, AND didn’t cry on your lunch break? Yeah, same. This quote changed the game. I don’t “earn” rest anymore. I schedule it like I schedule my pettiness—intentionally and with joy.

3. “You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.” — Tony Gaskins

I used to be the Queen of “it’s fine.” Was it fine? Absolutely not. But I’d say it with a smile and then cry in the car like a Lifetime movie heroine. This quote had me reevaluating everything. Now I set boundaries like I set my Wi-Fi password—strong, necessary, and not up for public sharing.

4. “Don’t shrink so others can be comfortable in your presence.” — Oprah (probably… if not, she should’ve said it)

This one unlocked a new level of boldness in me. I was out here acting small like a polite houseplant, hoping not to take up too much space. Now? I walk into rooms like I deserve to be there—because I do. I don’t dim my personality, tone down my passion, or water down my wins anymore. Let people adjust their sunglasses if I’m too bright. 

5. “You are the love of your life. Act like it.” — Me, to me, in the mirror

This one right here? That was the mic drop. I realized I was waiting on someone to love me how I should have been loving me. I was expecting loyalty from people who couldn’t even commit to dinner plans. Now I romanticize my own life. Flowers? Bought them. Dates? Took myself. Pep talks? Oh baby, I give award-winning speeches in the mirror.

So What’s the Takeaway?

Quotes are cute, but application is sacred. These words shifted my energy, because I finally gave myself permission to stop surviving and start showing up. Not perfectly. Not every day with glitter and grace. But with intention, humor, and a whole lot of love for the woman in the mirror.

If you’re reading this, here’s your sign:
You deserve to be cared for by the you who knows you best.

So show up for them. Loudly. Daily. With snacks. Periodt!

Until next time, I love ya'll forreal and I'll talk to you next post!