Unlearning Self-Betrayal: My Journey Back to Me

20.05.25 11:00 PM - Comment(s) - By Bria Mask

Unlearning Self-Betrayal: My Journey Back to Me

Let’s be real — most of us don’t just wake up self-abandoning. We were trained to do it.

Taught to be likable instead of honest.

Polite instead of powerful.

Helpful instead of whole.

And so we learned to leave ourselves — little by little — for love, approval, or survival.

The Betrayal That Doesn't Look Like Betrayal

Self-betrayal isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s:

Laughing when something hurt your feelings.
Saying yes when your gut screamed no.
Dimming your light so someone else wouldn’t feel small.

I used to think I was being “nice.” Turns out I was just disappearing.

The Wake-Up Call

One day I was in the middle of a conversation and felt this weird silence inside me. Like… I wasn’t even there. I was auto-piloting. Pleasing. Nodding. Agreeing.

And I asked myself, “Why am I always performing? When do I actually get to be myself?”

Spoiler alert: The answer was whenever I decided I was enough.

The Healing Practice: Coming Back Home

Unlearning self-betrayal means catching yourself in the act — and choosing YOU.

1. Pause Before You Answer

Start small. When someone asks you for something, breathe. Give yourself permission to check in with yourself first. You don’t owe anyone an instant answer.

2. Ask: “What Am I Compromising To Keep This Peace?”

Is the peace you’re protecting even real? Or are you just avoiding confrontation while your soul screams?

3. Validate Yourself First

Before you ask someone else, “Is this okay?” ask yourself, “Do I feel good about this?” That’s your answer. Every time.

Final Thought:

You’re not “too much.” You’re just finally meeting the version of you that refuses to shrink. Don’t apologize for her. Welcome her back.

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