A Beginner’s Guide to Self-Mastery

You don’t just wake up one day and become your best self. Trust me, I tried. I thought I could meditate for 10 minutes and suddenly I’d become woke and know all of the Universe's secrets to this life. Instead, I got smacked in the face with all the parts of me I’d been avoiding. How about that for being God’s strongest warrior???

Self-mastery sounds intense — like you need a robe, a mountaintop, and a spiritual guru who only speaks in riddles. But honestly? It’s really about learning how to sit with yourself when things aren’t pretty. It’s about being honest with the you that shows up when nobody’s watching. Shadow work (or mirror work) is very important in this part of your  journey. You must be willing to see the real you to break down and transform the parts of you that are screaming for a change.

What Is Self-Mastery, Really?

It’s not about being in control of everything — it’s about not being controlled by everything. It’s learning how to regulate your emotions without spiritually bypassing them. It’s showing up for yourself when your old self would’ve ghosted.

It’s:

• Choosing rest without guilt.
  
  

• Saying no without a dissertation.
  
  

• Not spiraling just because something didn’t work out.
  
  

• Apologizing to yourself for how many times you abandoned you.

Although it may seem intense, it’s really simple and worth the love that you find for yourself in the end.

My “Well Shit!” Moment

One day, I realized I kept waiting for someone to choose me, to validate me, to give me permission to live boldly — and the gag was, that person had to be me. Self-mastery started when I stopped performing for acceptance and started showing up raw, flawed, and fully present. I had to win myself over and not wait to be praised for all of who I was to others. Who was I to myself? How did I show up for me? What rewards did I give myself just for being kind to myself? Why don’t you reflect on those questions for yourself.

3 Beginner Steps to Start Your Own Journey

1. Ask Yourself: What Am I Avoiding?
We don’t grow in denial. Start noticing your numbing habits. When you scroll, binge, ghost, or lash out — what are you avoiding feeling? What’s really underneath the surface?

2. Create a Daily “Self-Check-In” Ritual
This isn’t a cute Pinterest routine. It's 5-10 minutes of getting honest with yourself. Ask:

• What do I need today?
  
  

• How do I feel in my body?
  
  

• What lie am I tempted to believe about myself?
  
  

3. Make Peace with the “Old You”
Self-mastery means you no longer hate who you had to be to survive — but you also don’t let them drive anymore. Integrate the parts of you that you desire to be and watch you rise to the occasion. 

Final Thought:

You don’t master yourself in one grand gesture. You master yourself one moment at a time — one breath, one boundary, one brave decision to show up. Not perfect. Just authentic.

I hope this helped! I love ya'll forreal and I’ll talk to you soon. — Bria Mask